Dec 18, 2006

ever since i can remember, i've been living a double life.

my family and childhood friends know me as the straight guy who moved away to make a life for himself away from everything familiar. in nyc, most of my friends know i'm gay, but my coworkers and random acquaintances do not. living this double life has become so routine, its second nature, and one could say, its the "normal" me. i've been doing it for so long, i don't really know how to put an end to it.

i think about "the speech" everyday. i tell myself my parents and friends MUST KNOW already, how couldn't they?! but then something happens, and i think maybe they don't know. i see my gay friends interacting with their parents and i think to myself, "damn, i wish i had that".

i know i'm not alone in this struggle. i've had these thoughts as long as i can remember, and i happened to come across a handful of blogs tonight that discuss similiar issues, which prompted me to start blogging about this as well. i want to thank the following bloggers:

a gay athletes life
overnight in new york
i think i might be gay

by the time i got to the 3rd blog, i decided to launch this blog. im sure our situations are all different, but the stories you tell, and the feelings you describe are EXACTLY the same things i've dealt with for over 10 years now.

the stories i can share are enough to fill a library. perhaps this blog will give me an avenue to share my stories, feelings, fears, and hopefully inspire others the way these blogs inspired me. i hope that this blog will help me muster the courage to come out to my friends and family within one year of today. that means by dec 18, 2007, my life as a double agent will be over.

let the fun begin.....

6 comments:

Moncrief Speaks said...

Good luck to you. It sounds as if you're already out to most of your friends though. So that's at least a start and more than a lot of people. There are a lot of blogs out there by guys at various stages of coming out, so you'll have lots of support. Hope you enjoy the blogging adventure.

firstimpre55ion said...

Congrats! There's a great community out there willing to support you. I know I am one of those supporters as it's only been recent (last few months) that Iv'e really come out and told some close friends of my bisexuality (although I'm on a "seeking Mr. Right" streak). You are welcomed with open arms! :)

fI

Josh said...

You really should check out Micifus. Make sure that you start at the beginning.

http://micifus.typepad.com/micifus/

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