Jan 16, 2007

weekend update (without amy poehler or seth meyers)

hey guys, im back. i know i've been slacking, so here's an update:

- stopped dating one guy
- getting to know someone else
- works been a bitch
- been talking a lot to my friends about how i can tell my parents
- i don't really have time to date right now, but ironically, more people seem to talk to me now, at restaurants, at the gym, etc. i guess its true what they say, things happen when you don't really try
- the playoffs have been phenomenal - i'm pissed that the Pats won, i hate them. yes brady is hot, but i hate the Pats. I'm pulling for the Saints.

my friend told me something the other night, and i was really taken aback -- in a good way. he basically said something along the lines of: "i'm surprised, you present yourself so self assuredly, you're hot, you don't care what people think about you, and you really carry yourself in a way thats not overly cocky, but you're very secure with yourself. that's why i find it soo hard to believe that you're scared to tell your old friends and family. you, out of all people, seem like it would be a cinch."

i was deeply touched when he said that. i'm sure i botched up his whole delivery, but you get the gist of it. to hear a friend speak of me in such a genuinely flattering light was rather humbling. it made me realize how good i have it, but it also made me realize how big of a coward i am. he's right though, im a bit cocky and arrogant in all aspects of my life EXCEPT this one. i may overcompensate for this insecurity, but one of these days, i will get over it. reading about other people's experiences has definitely helped. one day, i hope to write my post-coming-out entry. until then, i'll just continue being a prick... :P

5 comments:

Moncrief Speaks said...

Did you say you had a gay uncle? How are they with him? I'm just wondering what you think their reaction might be. I think you also said they wrote "We love you no matter what" on a recent card. I mean, that to me is a pretty good sign that you'll have a positive reaction once you're ready to do it. Just two cents from a total stranger.

Moncrief Speaks said...

Just wanted to say one other thing, which is -- there are a lot of ways to come out, not just the dramatic "Mom... Dad..." conversation. You can also do it without really having that conversation, by opening up more abouut your personal life, and dropping hints so wide there can be no dispute. I think you mentioned that they met your best friend, who they know is gay. Stuff like that in enough repetition will make it clear. (I'm not sure I've ever heard of a straight guy whose best friend is a gay guy).

You can even go so far as saying stuff like "I'm dating a guy named..." which I suppose would be awkward without the "conversation" but at the same time, I think the idea that it has to be this dramatic one conversation makes the whole process scarier than it needs to be. I think it can be done gradually, though there is some catharsis and closure to be had with that conversation. Just a thought.

JP Mac said...

well, im happy you are back... addicting

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